Retrograde
by alphaangel
Summary: Another post Dead Doll 'fic. Please read and review. Day six uploaded. Thanks for all the reviews
1. Day One

Yeah, ok so this is another post Dead Doll 'fic but hey, we never got to see what happened afterwards and I want to know. As usual, I own nothing, if I did we would be watching this on TV rather than reading it and I would be a very rich person rather than a poor student.

**Retrograde**

**Chapter One – Day One**

It felt like hours but he knew it wasn't. He sat with his head in his hands completely oblivious to his surroundings.

"Gil?" He looked up and saw Catherine coming down the corridor followed by the rest of the team. "Have you heard anything?"

He shook his head and let it drop back into his hands."She regained consciousness on the way to the hospital."

"We'll that's a good sign."

"Mmm."

They all sat impatiently in silence. "What's taking them so long?" Gil muttered under his breath.

Catherine opened her mouth but closed it again when she realised that she didn't know what to say.

Finally a doctor appeared before them wearing a white coat. "Mr. Grissom?" He asked looking at the group.

"Yes." Gil said standing up immediately.

"Ms Sidle is now stable. She has two fractures to her left arm, we've put her arm in a cast, it should be fine in a couple of months. She also has a head injury and concussion, severe dehydration and multiple cuts and bruises. She has swallowed a lot of rain water so we're giving her antibiotics to prevent any lung conditions like pneumonia developing. We're also giving her fluids and we'll monitor her for twenty-four hours but I feel confident that she will make a full recovery." The doctor said smiling at Gil.

"Thank you, thank you." Gil said sighing with relief. "Can I see her?"

"Yes, she's resting now but you can sit with her. She's in room 342, on the third floor."

"Thank you, doctor."

"You're welcome." The doctor said before walking away.

"Gil, we'll leave you two alone. Give her our love."

"I will, thanks guys."

"Give her a kiss from me." Nick said standing up.

"Same." The other three agreed.

Grissom walked quickly towards the lift, he couldn't stand to be away from her any longer. He hovered outside her room for a moment looking through the window before entering. He opened the door and stepped through. She looked so peaceful, lying there with her dark hair spread on the white pillow. Her skin was raw from sunburn and abrasions. He sat down beside her and took her right, uninjured hand into his.

He felt her hand close around his and looked up to see her eyes looking at him. "Hi." He said immediately feeling tear well up with the relief of seeing her awake.

"Hey." She replied, her voice a little hoarse.

He stood up and kissed her gently on the forehead four times. " They're from Catherine, Nick, Warrick and Greg. They send their love. " He kissed her lips. "That's from me."

He sat back down. "How are you feeling?"

"Ok but I think that might be the painkillers. When can I go home?"

"The doctor said that they wanted to keep you in for observation for twenty-four hours, so tomorrow I guess."

"I want to be home with you."

"You will, sweetheart, soon. I'm not going anywhere until you do."

"I knew you'd find me, if I just held on a bit longer."

"We found you, honey." Gil lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"I'm so sorry." He said looking down because he couldn't meet her eyes.

"What are you sorry for?" She asked seeing tears leak from underneath his eye lids.

"It was all my fault, Natalie did this because of me, to get me back."

Sara placed her hand on his chin and lifted his face up to meet her eyes. "Gil, listen to me. This is not your fault, in any way. Natalie did this. She and only she is responsible."

"I was so scared. I thought that I'd never see you again."

"You don't get away that easily." She replied tenderly, lifting his hand to her lips gently kissing it. "I'm not going anywhere. You look tired, when was the last time you slept?"

"I'm not sure, a day ago, maybe."

"You should go home and sleep." Sara said, wiping the tears away from his cheeks tenderly with her thumb.

"I'll sleep when you're home with me."

"I know there's not much point in arguing with you." Sara said, Gil was just as stubborn as she was. Perhaps that's why they were so well suited with each other.

"You need to rest sweetheart." Gil said, watching her yawn.

"Wandering around the desert really takes it out of you." She said smiling tiredly, within seconds her eyelids were becoming heavy and she was asleep with her hand still in his.

---

Gil woke to the sound of footsteps coming into the hospital room. He rubbed his eyes and looked over at Sara, who was still sleeping peacefully, before turning around to the door. Catherine and Brass were stood in the doorway.

Gil gestured for them to come in. "How is she?" Catherine whispered.

"Ok, just tired."

"We need to get her statement soon. Natalie can't tell us anything so Sara is the only witness to what happened. We need to know if Natalie was working alone or if she had an accomplice." Brass said in a low voice.

Grissom bit his lip, he knew the importance of Sara's statement for the investigation but he didn't want Sara reliving the nightmare while she was still so weak. "Ok, if she thinks she's ready." He compromised.

"Sara, sweetheart." Sara's eyes flickered open and she looked confused for a while. "Catherine and Brass are here, they want to know if you're ready to give your statement."

"It's ok if you're not kiddo. We can come back when you're ready." Brass said.

Sara bit her lip and looked from Catherine and Brass to Gil and back again. "Ok." She said nodding, she took a deep breath, "I'm can do it."

"Are you sure Sara? You don't have to do it now. It can wait." Gil said looking at her with concern.

"There's no rush, Sara. We've got Natalie, we don't need to do this now if you're not ready."

"No, I'd rather get it out the way. Then I can just forget about it." She said, everyone in the room thought that she wouldn't forget it that easily.

Brass sat down in a chair on the opposite side of the bed to Gil. "Ok, Sara, we know that you had been eating at the vegetarian place in the mall and left there at about seven fifteen. What happened after that.

"I was heading back towards the car, I was in the elevator when Gil called me on my cell, told me that they had a name for the killer, Natalie Davis. I got out of the elevator and walked through the parking lot to the car.

I was just putting my field kit into the trunk when I heard her call my name. I turned round, I thought she had a gun, but it was a taser. I remember falling to the ground, I could move, couldn't breathe." Her hand gripped Gil's tightly as the memories washed over her.

"The next thing I remember is waking up in a trunk. My wrists were tied with a zip tie. I unlocked the zip tie with the barb from the taser and I opened the trunk but the car was moving too fast for me to jump out. So I ripped out the speaker and released the back seat. I hit Natalie's head against the window, she slowed down enough so that I could jump out but she was moving faster that I thought.

I was dazed, I saw her driving towards me, I, I thought she was going to hit me but she didn't. She dragged me back into the car, tied my wrists again and forced me to drink some water. I tried to talk to her, to reason with her but it was no good. I started feeling dizzy, drowsy, she'd put something in the water."

Sara paused, she was shaking slightly. "Sara?" Gil said gently. "Are you ok?"

She nodded and swallowed loudly.

"Do you want to stop?" Brass asked.

"No, no just give me a minute. I'm ok." She said but her voice was still wobbly. Gil placed a glass of water in her hand and she gripped in tightly. She took a mouthful, swallowed and continued.

"When I came round I was under the car. I was lying on my front and the car was coming down on top of me. I couldn't move, my arm was trapped. Then I watched her walking away.

When it started to rain, I knew I had to get out from under the car quickly or I'd drown. That's how I broke my arm, getting it out from under the car. I took the rear view mirror with me so that I could draw attention to me when the sun came up. And I just started walking. I don't know how many hours I was walking for. I remember the sun coming up, and the ground drying.

When the ground dried I wasn't leaving foot prints, I thought you'd find the car eventually and that if you could follow me, I stood a better chance of surviving so I left piles of stones instead. I didn't know if you'd see them but..."

"We saw them sweetheart. We we're following." Gil said stroking her cheek.

"Eventually I couldn't go on any more. I was so tired and dizzy. I couldn't stand up, I couldn't keep on walking. I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up again. I remember voices saying my name, Nick I think, and Sofia, and the, the sound of a helicopter. Then there was so much noise but I could feel Gil holding my hand and I knew I was going to be ok."

"Thanks Sara, we'll leave the two of you alone now." Brass said.

"Call us if you need anything, anything at all." Catherine said kissing her on the cheek.

"Thanks." Sara said smiling at them.

---

"Are you ok?" Brass asked as they walked down the corridor away from Sara's hospital room.

"That was harder than I thought it would be." Catherine admitted.

"I know."

"While we were looking for her, I never stopped to think about what she was going through. Jim, she must have been so scared."

"She's safe now." Jim replied as they exited the hospital.

"Can you imagine it, breaking you arm to stop yourself drowning, and not even knowing if you'd be found after you did."

"But she was found. She's a survivor, Catherine, I think you said that. She'll get through it."

---

As soon as Catherine and Jim left the room, Gil instinctively moved to sit beside Sara on the bed, facing her. He gently pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her shaking body. She leant on him, his shirt became damp with the tears that she not been able to let out while Catherine and Jim were in the room. "I was so scared." She whispered, so quietly that he could hardly hear her.

"I know sweetheart. I promise, I'll never let anyone hurt you again. I promise."

**Reviews? Please?**


	2. Day Two

**Thanks for all the reviews for the first chapter. Sorry it's taken a while to update but unfortunately it is exam season. Anyway, I did the third of my four exams today and the last is on Tuesday so after that time I should have a lot more time to write. As usual, I don't own anything more than the DVD's and the computer game, which is a shame but what can you do about it. **

**Chapter 2 – Day 2**

Catherine took the key that Grissom had given her and let herself into Sara and Gil's home. She was curious, she hadn't been in this house since the couple had got together and started to live with each other. It was obvious that there was something different about the house, it had a different feeling in the air, and it smelt of Sara. A dog came running towards her wagging his tail. He stopped when he saw that it wasn't either of his owners. Catherine held her hand out for the dog to smell and he decided that she was friendly.

"Ok boy." Catherine said stroking him. She opened the back door for him and let him run outside while she filled his food and water bowls.

She then stopped to look at the photos around the main room, photos of Sara and Gil together. She couldn't believe, looking at these photographs, that she hadn't noticed that they were together.

She noticed that Gil's already large book collection had almost doubled, and now had a lot of physics textbooks, maths books, and even more forensic books.

Finally she had a quick snoop through the refrigerator, last time she had been here is was full of meat and unlabelled experiments. Now it had fruit, vegetables and vegetarian food, Sara's influence was definitely noticeable here.

She then went into the master bedroom which had a definite feminine touch. The bed had a satin throw at the bottom and the walls were covered in butterflies (though she suspected Grissom of that.) She opened the wardrobe and found a bag beside the neat lines of shoes. She pulled it out and placed jeans, a t-shirt and some underwear into it. She took the deodorant and cleansing wipes from the bathroom.

Zipping the bag back up and letting the dog in she left the house locking it back up.

---

Gil was woken the next morning by the door opening behind him. He turned around to see the doctor peering through the door.

"Good morning Mr Grissom. How did Ms Sidle sleep?"

"Quite well, I think. I'll wake her up."

"Sara, sweetheart." He said stroking her cheek. "The doctor is here." He continued as she started to stir.

"Good morning, Ms Sidle. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you. Can I go home now?" She asked eagerly.

"Hopefully. I'll just examine you first." He took out his stethoscope and listened to her lungs. "Your chest sounds clear. We'll keep you on the antibiotics though, just in case."

He placed the stethoscope back around his neck and took out a pen light to check her eyes. "Any headaches?"

"A bit." Sara replied honestly.

"Ok, you'll just need to keep an eye on her over the next couple of days, any nausea , dizziness, confusion and bring her back." He said to Gil. "I'll have the nurse give you an advice sheet on the symptoms to look out for."

"Is you arm painful?"

"A little."

"I've prescribed you painkillers and also some mild sleeping tablets as you might find that your arm is painful and uncomfortable when you're trying to sleep. You need to make an appointment with the fracture clinic in a month, the nurse will give you all the information when she brings your discharge papers."

"Does that mean I can go home now?"

"Yeah. The nurse will be in with your discharge papers. Your colleague, Ms Willows, dropped some clothes off for you earlier, the nurse will bring them in for you."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome Ms Sidle, I wish you well."

Sara signed the discharge papers and Gil helped her change into the clothes that Catherine had brought.

"Jim's going to come and pick us up and drop us at the lab so I can get my car." Gil said as they left the hospital.

"Is my car evidence?" Sara asked, her voice almost timid.

Gil hesitated and took her hand in his. "Yes, sweetheart, for a while."

"Hey kiddo." Jim said getting out of his car when he saw them. "How you feeling?"

"I'm ok, thanks Jim." Brass handed the key Catherine had borrowed back to Gil.

Sara felt growing anxiety as they got closer to the lab. She wasn't sure why she felt so nervous but she was desperately hoping that she wouldn't see anyone at the lab. She didn't feel up to anyone seeing her at the moment and she didn't think she could face anyone asking her how she was. She just wanted to go home with Gil and hide away from the world.

They thanked Jim and he drove away. "Do you want to go in and see everyone?" Gil asked.

"No, can we just go home, please?"

"Yeah sure, honey." He said looking at her with concern. "Are you feeling ok?"

"I'm fine, please, I want to go home. Can we go home, now?"

"Ok, sweetheart. Come on." He placed his arm gently around her shoulder and led her towards the car.

"Why didn't you want to go and see them all sweetheart?" He asked tentatively as they drove towards their home.

Sara was silent for a moment or two. "I, I just can't, not yet."

"Ok."

She breathed a sigh of relief as they walked through the front door to their home, she never thought that she would see it again. The dog came running up eagerly, wagging his tail, he was glad that his owners were finally home.

"Hey boy." Sara said scratching his head. He circled her legs as she walked, almost tripping her up.

"Go and sit down, honey, I'll make you a cup of tea. Are you hungry?"

"No, tea would be nice though." She said as she sat down on the sofa. She was exhausted from the short trip between the hospital and home, and the pain in her entire body was growing.

Gil came back with two cups of tea and a glass of water. He placed them all down on the coffee table and pulled two bottles of tablets of out his pocket.

He handed her the antibiotics and painkillers and she swallowed the down with a mouthful of water. She leant back into the sofa and sighed.

"Are you in pain?" Gil asked with a look of concern on his face.

Sara bit her lip and nodded, it was difficult for her to admit to being in pain.

"The pain killers should help soon." Gil took a sip from his tea. "I've got a confession to make."

"Go on." She said slowly.

"While you were missing I might have let it slip to the team about us. I'm sorry, I didn't really know what I was saying."

"That's ok," Sara said smiling at him, "I thought Catherine and Jim didn't seem too surprised about how we were at the hospital."

"You really don't mind?"

"They were always going to find out eventually. So what did you say to them?"

"Something about me taking away the only person that Natalie loved so she was doing the same to me."

"You really told the team that you loved me?"

Gil shrugged. "It's the truth."

"I love you too, Gil."

Gil wanted to talk about what happened in the desert but he knew that Sara wasn't ready for it so instead he reached over and turned the television on. They sat watching a comedy, neither really concentrating on it but needing something to take their minds off what had happened over the past forty eight hours.

Gil noticed that Sara's body had relaxed against his and her breathing had slowed. He looked down at her face, she was asleep. He knew she was exhausted and in pain, she needed all the sleep she could get but she wouldn't be comfortable in the position she was.

"Sara, sweetheart." He said softly.

"Mmm." She murmured with her eyes still closed.

"Let's get you to bed, you'll be more comfortable there."

"Ok." She replied and allowed him to help her up.

He helped her change into her favourite pyjamas and then she got into bed, her eyes shut immediately and he assumed she was asleep. He kissed her forehead.

"Stay with me." She said when he was a few steps from the bed.

"I'm just going to change, honey, then I'll be there." He stripped his pants and shirt off and slid into bed beside her.

She cuddled up to him, needing to feel his warmth, his closeness. She needed to know that he was there.

---

He woke up during the night to the sound of her screaming.

"It's ok, Sara, I'm here. You're having a nightmare. Wake up, sweetheart."

She sat up suddenly, her breathing rapid.

"It was just a nightmare sweetheart, do you want to talk about it?" He asked already anticipating the answer.

"No." She replied.

He glanced over at the clock. They had been asleep for several hours. "It's time for you to take another dose of the pain killers and the antibiotics, I'll just go and get them."

He returned a few seconds later with the tablets and a glass of water. He handed her the pain killers and the antibiotics. "Do you want to take one of the sleeping tablets?" He asked, wanting her to get a good night's sleep.

She noticed the third bottle in his hand for the first time.

"Yeah." She replied taking the tablet from him and swallowing it down.

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	3. Day Three

**What Nick and Greg say in A La Carte suggest to me that neither have seen Sara since she was rescued and I wandered why. After everything they had been through I can't believe that no one would have gone to see her while she was recovering.**

**Chapter Three – Day Three**

Pain woke Sara the next morning, she was lying on her side with her broken arm resting on Gil's chest. She looked up at him and saw him watching her wake up. "How long have you been awake?"

He shrugged. "Not long." He lied, he had been awake hours but didn't want to disturb her by moving and he didn't want her to wake up alone. He had been perfectly content to lie there and watch her sleep, he still couldn't believe that she was alive and home with him. He felt like the hours in which she was missing had aged him by at least ten years and he didn't want to waste a moment with her.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, kissing her head.

"Ok, everything aches though."

"It'll ease in a few days." He lent over her and took the tablets and water from her bed side table, he handed her the tablets she needed and then the water.

"What would you like for breakfast?"

"I don't mind, I'm not very hungry."

"How about I make you pancakes?" He knew she couldn't resist his pancakes and she hadn't eaten properly since just before she went missing.

"Ok." She said smiling at him.

"I'll go and get it started, you take your time getting up." He said kissing her and getting out of bed.

She snuggled back down under the covers and looked around their bedroom. She couldn't believe that she was back here, that she had had another chance with Gil. No where felt safer for her than being at home with him, they could lock the doors and keep all the evils of the world out.

She got out of bed ten minutes later to the smell of coffee and pancakes. The pain killers had started taking affect and her muscles and joints were now feeling much better.

He was stood at the cooker with her back to her and she walked quietly up behind him and kissed him on the back of his neck.

"Mmm." He said pulling her to his side so he could see her and still watch the pancakes. "Pain killers taken affect?" He asked noticing that her eyes were no longer hidden in pain.

"Yes." She said as he poured her a cup of coffee. "Thanks."

"Is there anything you want to do today?" He asked, carrying two plates over to the breakfast bar.

"Nope." She replied sitting down to start eating.

"I've had an answer phone message from the boys, wanting to know how you are. Would you like to see them?"

She looked down at her plate. "Maybe in a few days." She couldn't look him in the eyes while she said it.

"How about we watch a DVD?" Gil didn't comment on her reluctance to see anyone, instead he decided that he would talk to her about it later.

"Ok, as long as I get to chose."

They finished their breakfast in comfortable silence and Sara went to sit down with her cup of coffee, while Gil cleared up.

"Is it ok if I ring the lab and let them know that you're ok?" Gil called from the kitchen.

"Yeah, ok." Sara replied, she didn't mind as long as she didn't have to see anyone. "I'm going to go and have a bath, once your done on the phone will you help me wash my hair, I don't think I can manage one handed."

"Of course I will. I'll just be a few minutes."

He dialled the familiar number and waited for someone to pick up.

"_Crime Lab." _Came Nicks familiar reply.

"Hi, it's Grissom."

"_Hey, how's Sara?" _Gil could hear everyone in the back ground stop talking as soon as Nick said Sara's name.

"She ok, she in a bit of pain but she'll be ok."

"_That's such good news." _Nick said after relating what Gil had said to everyone else. _"Can we come and see her?"_

Gil knew that he would ask eventually. "Maybe in a few days Nick, once she has caught up on some sleep and is feeling better."

"_Ok. Will you give her our love?"_

"Yeah, I will."

"_And call us when she's ready to see us."_

"I'll do that. Say hi to everyone at the lab for us."

"_I will do. Catherine says to say that she's arranged with Ecklie for you to have a week off and to let her know if you need more time. I think Ecklie's going to call you soon."_

"Can you thank her for me. I'll speak to you soon." He ended the call and went into the bathroom to help Sara.

Sara was sat in the bath with her cast resting on the side. Gil sat on the toilet seat and watched her relax, cataloguing ever bruise, cut and scrape on her body.

"They all send the love. They wanted to come and see you."

"What did you say?" She asked sitting up suddenly, causing the water to slosh up the sides of the bath.

"Not yet, maybe in a few days."

She nodded and sat back again.

"Why don't you want to see them?" He said watching her with concern.

"I'm not really sure." She replied. "I just can't see them yet."

"Ok, I won't push you into seeing them until you're ready."

"Thanks Gil." She said handing the bottle of shampoo to him.

He soaked her hair with the detachable shower head and massaged the shampoo in. He'd washed her hair before whenever they showered together and he was getting quite good at it.

Stepping out of the bath with Gil's help she felt better, relaxed and, most importantly, clean.

She put a pair of warn, comfy jeans on and a long sleeved t shirt. Gil was sat on the sofa when she returned with two cups of coffee, she choose a film and put it into the DVD player before cuddling up beside him. They watched the film and then left the TV on, though neither was watching it.

They chatted together about unimportant things, the news, the latest forensic technique, the film that they had just watched. Neither mentioned the desert. Gil wanted to talk to Sara about what she had gone through but he knew that she wasn't ready to, that she was still processing everything that had happened. If he tried to get her to talk now he would only succeed in pushing her away and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

He looked over at the clock on the DVD player. It was well past lunch time. "Do you want something to eat?"

"I'm not really hungry." She replied, not moving from where she was leant against his chest.

"Are you sure? What about some soup?" He could feel her shaking her head against his chest.

"Ok sweetheart."

"How did you find me?" She asked suddenly.

"We found Natalie's car, and Natalie but she wasn't talking. Hodges traced the soil samples from the car to a specific area of the desert. Nick found the number of the scrap yard that the car had gone to in Natalie's apartment, I think Brass threatened they owner until he told us where he had taken it. We found the car but you weren't there so we knew you'd got out from under it, we spread out, Nick and Sofia found you. When I got to you the Medivac was there, they were preparing to transport you to Desert Palms. I went with you and you opened your eyes."

Sara didn't say anything for several minutes. "The thought of you kept me walking in the desert. I thought if I walked for long enough I'd find you eventually. But I felt so tired and dizzy. I couldn't carry on."

"We found you sweetheart. We found you." He hugged her tightly to his chest as she calmed down.

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	4. Day Four

**Chapter four – Day four**

Pain had kept Sara awake throughout much of the night. During the few times she did doze off her sleep was broken by nightmares. Consequently, when she woke up beside Gil the next morning she was irritable.

"How are you feeling?" Gil asked as he watched her struggle up from the bed. Every muscle in her body ached.

"Stop asking me how I feel." She snapped. "Just leave me alone." She caught sight of the flash of hurt in Gil's eyes and gasped. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" She muttered, tears glistening immediately in her eyes. She slid down the wall until she was sat on the floor, and repeated "I'm sorry."

"Ssh." He whispered soothingly. "It's ok, sweetheart." He knelt down on the floor beside her and hugged her tightly to him.

"I'm sorry, please don't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"I'm sorry I shouted, I didn't mean too."

"Sara look at me. You can scream and shout at me all you like. I love you and nothing will ever change that."

She leant her head against his chest, the tears that had been building up for days where finally being released.

"I can't begin to imagine what you went through in that desert but I know that you're having a really tough time. We'll get through it together because I love you, and I'll always love you. I promise, everything is going to be fine."

Grissom set about making her breakfast while she took a shower and dressed.

"You've got a doctor's appointment today." Gil said slightly nervously, knowing that Sara had been anxious recently about seeing anyone.

Sara looked at him as though he had just suggested being eaten alive by a shark.

"It's just a check up Sara, you'll be fine."

She didn't look convinced.

"I'll be right beside you." He said taking her hand.

She took a deep breath. "Ok." She said in an unusually small voice.

They finished their breakfast together in companionable silence.

Sara struggled to get her jacket over her cast while Gil cleared the dishes away to the sink.

"Here, let me help you." Gil said holding the jacket so Sara could slip her arm in easily.

"Thanks." She hesitated in front of the door.

"Sweetheart, the longer you leave it, the harder it'll be. I'll be right by your side." He said taking hold of her hand and smiling reassuringly.

She looked up at him and took a deep breath. Nodding, she opened the door and stepped out. She never thought that such a simple task would feel so daunting but as long as Gil was with her she knew she could do it.

Grissom could see how tense she was as he drove closer to the hospital. He parked and held his hand out to help Sara from the car. She clung tightly to his hand, not wanting to let go.

He found the reception desk. "She's got an appointment at ten fifteen." He said when he realised that Sara wasn't going to say anything.

"Name?"

"Sara Sidle."

"Take a seat, the doctor will be with you in just a moment."

Grissom thanked her with a smile and led Sara to sit in the waiting area.

When the receptionist called Sara's name, she didn't stand up.

"Sara?"

"Come with me? Please?"

"Of course I will."

Hand in hand they walked into the doctor's office.

"Hi Sara, take a seat." The doctor said indicating the chair in front of him. "Dr Grissom, please, take a seat too."

"How have you been, Sara?"

"Ok."

"Much pain?"

"My arm has been hurting a little bit at times."

"Have the painkillers been working?"

"Yeah."

"Well you look much better than the last time I saw you. As do you Dr Grissom."

Grissom smiled. As long as Sara was ok, he was ok.

"The sunburn has gone down and the cuts and scrapes to your face seem to be healing nicely. Can I listen to your chest? You inhaled a substantial amount of rain water." He asked taking out his stethoscope.

He listened to her taking deep breaths. "You're chest sounds clear, the antibiotics must be doing their job." He put his stethoscope away.

"You've got an appointment at the fracture clinic next week?"

"Yeah. On Monday."

"Good. Have you been sleeping well?"

"Yeah." Sara said, offering only the bare essential information.

"No nightmares or anything?" The doctor is astute, realising that Sara isn't telling him the whole truth.

Sara opened her mouth and Gil can tell that she is considering lying. He can also tell that she changed her mind at the last minute. "A few nightmares." She said "Nothing much."

"Ok." He replied realising that he's not going to get any more out of her.

"We'll I'm happy for you to go back to work next week, as long as the doctor at the fracture clinic agrees. But you're going to have to take it easy for a while. No working yourself into the ground. You need to rest and eat properly. You're underweight Sara, you need to eat more or your recovery is going to take a lot longer."

"I eat properly!" Sara said defensively.

Grissom raised an eyebrow. "Sweetheart, when you're on a case you skip meals, you forget about eating. You need to stop doing that."

If anyone else had said it she'd have been angry, very angry. But this was Gil saying it. Who loved her more than anything else in the world. And who she loved more than anything in the world.

"Ok, point taken." She said nodding.

Gil breathed a silent sigh of relief. A few years ago Sara would have resented him saying that, but now she accepted it. A lot had changed since their relationship had began.

"I want you to come for another check up in two weeks ok?"

"Ok. Thanks." Sara said standing up, eager to get away from the hospital.

"Thank you doctor." Gil said also standing up.

"Take care."

Sara felt relieved that the appointment was over, and it hadn't been as bad as she thought it would.

She got back in the car, exhaustion from the tension and lack of sleep washed over her and she didn't notice that Gil wasn't driving home until they stopped.

"What are we doing here?" She asked frowning at the store that they had parked in front of.

"We just need a few things, it won't be long." It was a lie, they didn't need anything. He knew that and she probably did too. But he didn't want to take Sara home just yet, he didn't want to give her the chance to hide away from the world again. "We'll just be a second sweetheart."

"Ok." Sara said getting out of the car. "But then we can go home, right?"

"What do we need?" She asked as they walked in. The store was almost empty seeing has it was Monday morning and most people were at work. But it was still more people than Sara really wanted to see.

Sara stuck close to Gil as he shopped, picking up milk, bread and other necessities. She was relieved when they got to the checkout. As Gil paid for their groceries, Sara's attention was caught by a newspaper. Sara froze at the headline. INSANITY PLEA FOR MINITURE KILLER. After checking that Gil was concentrating on his polite conversation with the woman serving them, she read quickly through the article. She shook when she came across the sentence ' the final victim, an unidentified CSI, survived the miniature killers attack and was rescued by her co-workers after spending hours in the desert injured and suffering from dehydration'. That was her they were talking about. She was the unidentified CSI.

Grissom looked at her when he felt her grip tighten around his arm. He followed her eyes and saw what she was looking at. He'd been careful to keep her away from the news. He hadn't wanted her to read anything about the case.

He quickly finished paying the woman and then guided Sara away and out of the store.

"I'm sorry Sara, I hoped that you'd not see the news." He said, watching the road in front of him as he drove home.

"It's ok," Sara said in a slightly strange voice, "I had to see it some time."

"I'm sorry."

"She'll still be locked away won't she. They won't just let her out?"

Gil pulled over to the side of the road. "No Sara, I don't think so. She might not go to prison, but she'll still be locked up in a psychiatric facility." He said turning to look at her and holding her hand gently.

"Can we go home now please?"

**Reviews? Please?**


	5. Day Five

**Chapter Five – Day Five**

Sara woke early the next morning. She watched Gil sleep in the watery morning sunlight. He was exhausted, she'd listened to him toss and turn all night. She knew it was her that was keeping him awake. He was terrified that he was going to lose her, she knew that.

She desperately wanted to put all this behind her. She wanted it to be like it was before. When it was just them. When no one knew and they didn't have to worry about what people thought. Sara was acutely aware of the gossip that was likely to be circulating around the lab.

Never, in the eight years that she had been in Las Vegas, had she dreaded walking into the lab so much. She knew eventually she would have too. And they would have to face up to the publicity of their relationship. Best case scenario – they would each get a slap on the wrist and Catherine would take over as Sara's supervisor. Worst case scenario – disciplinary action, separation...

There had been a strain on Gil's face for the last five days. She couldn't imagine how scared he was during the hours that she was in the desert. She could clearly remember the look of relief on his face when she opened her eyes in the helicopter. It wasn't the noise, or the fluids, or the cold compress on her sun burnt skin that woke her up during the brief flight. What woke her up, what gave her the strength, the urge, the drive to regain consciousness was the familiarity of the feeling of her hand within his.

That was what had kept her going, kept her walking, kept her alive. She carried on only because of the desperation to return to him. And if she could no longer work with him, well, she wasn't so sure if it was worth it anymore.

Grissom rolled over so that he was facing her, stretched and then opened his eyes. He saw her watching him.

"Hey." She said softly.

"Your beauty never fails to surprise me, my dear." He said and lent forward to kiss her.

"I love you." She said deepening the kiss they shared.

He could tell where she was leading this, what she wanted but he was terrified that he might hurt her.

"Sara-" He said pulling back for a second.

Sara looked hurt and turned her face away from him.

"Sara, I just, I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't Gil. I really need this, I need you. I want to feel normal again."

"You are normal."

"Then don't treat me like I'm going to break. I want to feel you Gil. Please, you won't hurt me."

"Promise me that you'll tell me if it does hurt, promise me."

"I promise."

That was enough to convince Gil. He was desperate to feel Sara too. Desperate to be with her. He rolled her gently on her back and kissed her tenderly down her body. Every touch he made was gentle, careful. Their eyes were locked as they watched every feeling flitter across the others face. He noticed every single reaction to his touches.

He supported his own weight while they made love, careful not to put any extra weight on her aching body.

He held her after they climaxed together. "I love you." He said sighing and stroking her hair away from her face.

"I love you too." She whispered.

They dozed in each other's arms for another few hours, their companionship was comfortable, their bodies fit together.

Sara felt safe, the anxious feeling that had been lurking in the pit of her stomach disappeared and the only feeling there was warmth and love.

---

"Sara," Gil said hesitantly as they ate breakfast. "I'm supposed to go back to work tomorrow night."

"I'm surprised the lab has been able to cope without you this long!" Sara replied smiling at him.

"You don't mind? Because I can take more time off if you want. I have months of leave owed to me."

"It's ok, Gil. We need to get back to normal. I've only got another week before I can go back to work. I'll be fine."

"Ecklie's been calling me, I've been ignoring it but he's going to want to speak to us soon. We can't put him off forever. I've been thinking, if he wants to separate us then I'll go to swing or days."

"I don't mind going."

"No, you should stay with the team. It'd probably be good for me, politically, and I'll really enjoy winding Ecklie."

Sara was about to argue but stopped herself. It meant a lot to her than Gil was willing to leave the team so that she could stay. She knew it wasn't the truth, he hated politics and he hated splitting up the team, both of them did, that was why they had kept it a secret

"Hopefully it won't come to that." She said looking back down at her breakfast.

"No."

After breakfast they sat down together and Gil absentmindedly turned the television on. He flicked through the documentary channels, skipping past the crime channels with their forensic programmes and stopped on a documentary about the evolution of insects.

Sara wasn't concentrating on the programme instead she was watching Gil shake his head at some of the opinions and facts suggested by the presenter.

"That's not actually true." He said tutting. "What?" He asked when he heard Sara laughing at him.

"You? Why do you watch documentaries like this, you know more about it than the programme makers?"

"I like to check what incorrect information they're giving people."

There was a knock at the door and Gil got up to answer it. Sara picked up the remote control to change the channel and stopped on a crime documentary. Gil returned to the living room with Catherine following him.

"Hi." Sara said surprised, she turned the volume of the television to mute.

"How are you feeling? You look much better."

"I'm feeling much better thanks."

"Do you want a coffee?" Gil asked

"That would be great."

"Sit down. Have you only just left the lab?"

"Yeah. I've been catching up on Gil's paperwork." She said with a grin.

"I wanted to come by with a warning. Ecklie has been stalking around the lab all week, questioning people about the two of you. The team have all gone with the line that they never saw anything to suggest that you two were in a relationship, which is the truth. What you said in the lab has simply slipped their minds! However, he's suspicious, he wants to know where you are. I told him that Sara needed someone to take care of her and you two are friends."

"He's not got anything concrete then?" Gil asked handing Catherine her coffee, and placing a cup of tea in front of Sara.

"That's the problem, he has. You almost got away with it but when I left today he was trying to contact you Sara. But with your cell phone as evidence, he was trying to find your home number, and he noticed your address."

"Damn." Sara muttered.

"He's going to contact you soon. He wants you to go in and speak to him. I think I've put him off for a few days but soon he is going to phone. I reckon your best bet is just to come clean and tell him the truth. He can't fire you. He needs the two of you too much to keep him looking good."

Catherine watched Sara glance at Grissom, she looked defeated, vulnerable.

"Don't worry, honey. Catherine's right, no matter how much he hates us, he's not stupid, he knows he needs us."

"No," Sara said shaking her head. "He needs _you_! He's been trying to get rid of me for years. This is the excuse he's been looking for, he's going to fire me for this."

"No, Sara, he won't. He can't."

"Gil's right Sara. Without you the lab wouldn't be number two. You and Gil have the highest solve rates in the country. He will not fire you."

"And if he does, then I'll resign and we'll find jobs elsewhere. I've been getting offers to lecture at colleges around the country for years. And you know you can walk into any forensic job you wanted." He put his arm around Sara's shoulders.

"I just want everything to go back to how it was." She mumbled resting her head against him.

"I know, sweetheart, and it will, just give it time."

"I need to go, get some sleep before tonight. Will you still be back tomorrow night?" Catherine said, swallowing the last mouthful of her coffee and standing up.

Gil stood to show her out.

"How is she? Really?" Catherine asked in a low voice as they stood on the doorstep.

Gil pulled the front door shut before answering. "She's scared. Really scared." He said shaking his head. "She just wants everything to go back to normal but I, I can't make it all go away. I wish I could."

"She's strong, she'll get through this."

"She's not as strong as you think. And this has really hit her hard. I don't know how to help her."

"I think she just needs you at the moment. Just listen to her."

"You think?"

"Yeah. And once everything is sorted with Ecklie she'll feel better as well. That'll be a bit weight off her mind."

"Yeah, you're right thanks Catherine. And thanks for coming to warn us."

"No problem. Call me if you need anything. And we'll keep trying to work on Ecklie."

"Thanks." Grissom took a deep breath before returning to Sara who was pretending to watch a forensic programme. He kissed her on the forehead and then sat down beside her.

"Did you mean it?" Sara asked, not looking up from the television.

"What?"

"That you'd quit, if Ecklie fired me?"

"Of course I would."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I don't want to go to prison and I'd kill Greg for being annoying it you weren't there to stop me!" He said with a grin.

Sara punched him playfully on the arm.

"Why are you watching a forensic programme, my dear?" He asked when he noticed that she had changed the channel.

"Why not?" She said, lifting her legs onto his lap.

"Because you work in forensics!"

"You watch bug programmes." She retaliated.

"That's different." He said grabbing the remote control back from her.

"How?"

"Because I..." For once in his life, Grissom couldn't think of an answer.

"You know, I think that's the first time in nine years that I've seen you lost for words."

"Don't tell anyone."

"It's ok. Your secret is safe with me." She laughed and took control on the remote again.

Sara switched to a documentary about gravity instead.

"What? I don't do a job in physics." She said in defence after Gil raised his eyebrows.

"What's your degree in again?"

"Fair point, what are we going to watch then?"

They looked at each other for a second. Then, without needing to say anything to each other, Sara switched the television off and Gil picked up a book and a newspaper from the coffee table. He handed Sara the book about String Theory which she was reading and then looked down at his newspaper to start the crossword.


	6. Day Six

**Chapter Six – Day Six**

She opened her eyes sleepily, as Gil kissed her forehead.

"I have to go to work." He said softly. "Go back to sleep."

"Be careful." She said catching hold of his hand. "I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart. Call me if you need anything. Or if you just want to talk to me. I'll have my phone on all night. Or you can call the lab." He was anxious about leaving her for the first time.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine." She said kissing his hand before cuddling back down under the duvet.

She was asleep before he had even locked the front door. She was exhausted after staying up all night with Gil as he tried to get back into the habit of sleeping during the day. Her body, she was surprised to discover, had decided that it didn't like going hours without sleep anymore.

_She was trapped and the water was rising. _

_She was going to drown. _

_She was going to die._

_A flash of lightning ripped across the sky illuminating the bleak, desolate desert landscape that surrounded her._

It wasn't your time to die_. She heard it echoing around in her head. Was it her time to die? She was trapped under a car, during a storm which would flood the desert floor. Surely it was her time._

_It was cold. People forget how cold it gets in the desert at night. And as rain water saturated her clothing, shivers wracked her aching body._

_The water was rising, she couldn't lift her head above it much longer. She coughed as the water ran down her throat. She was going to die, she would never see Gil again._

She woke up with a short scream, sweating and shivering all at the same time. She looked across for Gil to comfort her but he wasn't there, she remembered that he'd left for work and she'd be alone all night. She rolled over and checked the clock. Her heart dropped when she realised that Gil had only been gone just over an hour, she still had to spend the rest of the night alone.

She leaned over and picked the phone, debating with herself whether she should call Gil or not. The anxiety got the better of her and she dialled his number.

"Grissom." He answered automatically.

"Hi." She said softly.

"Sara, are you ok?"

"I'm ok. Just wanted to check how your night's going."

"Did you have a nightmare?" He asked reading more into her tone of voice than what she was saying."

"I'm ok." She replied not answering his question with words but he still knew the answer.

"Do you want me to come home?" He asked in a concerned voice.

"No, it's ok, I'm ok."

"Are you sure? It wouldn't take me long to get home."

"No, you need to be there, I just needed to hear your voice. Have you heard anything from Ecklie?"

"Yeah, I've had a message from him, wants to meet me in the morning."

"Oh."

"Don't worry sweetheart. Everything will be fine."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure, trust me."

"I trust you."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come home?"

"It's ok. I'm fine."

"I love you."

"I love you too." She hung up the phone and placed it back on the bed side table.

She decided to get up, the last thing she wanted to do was fall back to sleep and have another nightmare without Gil to wake her up.

She showered and attempted to wash her hair one-handed for the first time. She got out of the shower, wiped the condensation off the mirror and looked at herself in it. The grazes and sunburn that covered her face seemed less noticeable now, whether it was because she was getting used to them, or they were starting to heal, she wasn't sure, but the effect was definitely less shocking now.

She dressed, dried her hair and went into the kitchen to make herself some coffee. On the counter was a croissant with a note beside it saying _Eat x. _She smile at Gil thoughtfulness. She had lost what little appetite she'd had recently and if he hadn't left this for her she probably wouldn't have eaten all day.

She took the croissant and her coffee and sat down in the living room, switching the television on as she sat. She flicked past the news, not wanting to hear about the crime in the city she lived in. She stopped on the insect documentary that Gil had tried to watch the previous day, she smiled as she settled down to watch it.

After watching it, followed by several hours of historical documentaries, she was beginning to get restless and boredom was setting it.

There was a knock at the front door and Sara hesitated before opening the door, not knowing who it was. She stood behind the door for a minute or two.

"Sara? It's Catherine."

Sara opened the door. ""Hi," she said relieved to see her. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, it's my night off, Lyndsey is at a sleep over and I thought you might want some company seeing as it's Gil's first night back at work."

Sara smiled at her and stood back to let her in. She frowned at the mouth watering smell coming from Catherine.

"That and I hate getting take away by myself." She added holding the bag up so Sara could see it.

"I'll get the plates." She said leading Catherine into the kitchen.

"It's all vegetarian." Catherine said emptying the bag onto the counter.

"I suppose you want all the gossip?" Sara said with a grin as she got cutlery out from a drawer.

"Oh no, you've spotted my ulterior motive!" She replied.

They sat down with their plates. "So, can I ask?" Catherine asked carefully, she didn't want to push Sara because she knew how private she was but she was desperate to finally find out about this secret relationship.

"Go on, but I might not answer."

"How long have you two been together?"

"Two years."

Catherine choked slightly on what she was eating. "Two years?"

"Yeah."

"How on Earth have you kept it from us for this long?"

"It was hard but we had two separate lives, one at the lab and one when it was just us. At the lab he was Grissom and at home he's Gil."

"How did it happen?"

"We worked a tough case together, and it scared him into acting." Sara said shivering at the memory of the case in the mental hospital.

"About time too." Catherine replied smiling. "I can't believe none of us cottoned onto you two. Although I had noticed that the atmosphere between you was easier recently."

"Yeah, that's because there was no sexual tension between us!" Sara said with a laugh.

"So, had no one suspected?"

" Brass knew about us."

"Huh, that's what he was hinting at a few weeks ago! How did he find out?"

"Well, it was just after Gil's sabbatical, we hadn't seen each other for such a long time and we had a night off together so we went out for dinner which we hardly ever did because we didn't want to risk getting caught. So we're sat in this restaurant and I looked over I see Brass sat at a table grinning at us and Gil was holding my hand on the table so it's obvious to him exactly what was going on between us and that this we weren't out to dinner as friends. Then Brass bites his lip and nods slightly at the guy sat with him. And sat opposite Brass, with his back towards Gil and I, is the Sheriff!"

Catherine gasped. "What did you do?"

"Well Brass managed to keep the Sheriff looking forwards the whole time and Gil and I didn't touch each other once and ate very quickly. We were so relieved when we got out of there, I couldn't believe that we had come so close to getting caught but had got away with it."

"Did Brass say anything about it?"

"Not exactly but the next night we worked a case together with Brass and when we got to the scene he just looked at us with this knowing smile and asked us whether we enjoyed our night off."

"I'm really glad you two are together, you're meant for each other." Catherine's cell phone rang, cutting off what she was saying. She sighed and answered it. "Willows. Ok, I'll be right there." She hung up and put the phone back in her pocket. "Sorry, that was Brass, apparently someone high profile has been killed and Grissom's busy with another case, I've got to go." She stood up and Sara showed her to the door.

Sara reached out and caught her arm. "Catherine, I really appreciate you coming round today, more than you know. Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me Sara, I enjoyed catching up with you, we haven't talked like that in years." She replied thinking back to when she had taken Sara out for a drink after she'd found out about Hank.

"We should do it more often." Sara said with a small smile. She shut the door behind Catherine feeling a small twinge of regret that she wasn't going with Catherine to the crime scene. It was the first time since her abduction that she had wanted to work.

She sighed as she sat back down in the silence. She wanted to be back at work, she wanted to be back to normal, most of all, she wanted to go back in time. She wanted to go back to the night Natalie took her, she wanted to have been anywhere but the parking lot, she wanted to have gone into work early then Natalie wouldn't have been able to take her.

But wishing wasn't going to change things, it wouldn't make her go back in time, nothing could take away the events of the past week. She was just going to have to get through it.

She had to do something productive, something that would stop her thinking. So she set about awkwardly cleaning the house one handed. She knew that Gil wouldn't approve, that he wanted her to rest but cleaning would keep her content for a few hours.

She stopped cleaning at seven thirty when the phone rang. Thinking it might be Gil phoning to say he was on his way home, she picked it up eagerly.

"Hello?"

"_Sara? It's Conrad Ecklie."_

"Oh." She said shortly, unable to form a sentence.

"_How are you feeling?"_

"Ok." She said, suspicious as to why he was being friendly.

"Are you well enough to come into the lab to meet me this morning?"

Sara took a deep breath. "Yeah, ok."

"Good, I'll see you at about nine o'clock."

"Ok." Sara hung up realising that she had said only 'ok' and 'yeah' throughout their entire conversation.

She picked the phone back up and rang Grissom. There was no answer, his phone was out of range. She sighed, wanting to let him know that Ecklie had called, wanting his advice on what to say. She put the phone down and went to change. She struggled to get a black top over her cast, and then pulled on a pair of jeans.

After fighting with her hair and giving up, she tried to phone Gil again but still go no answer. Instead she called for a cab to come and pick her up to take her to the lab. She continued trying Grissom's phone until the cab arrived, beeping it's horn outside to let her know he was here. She left a message on Grissom's voice mail so he would know where she'd gone and got in the cab.

She resisted the cab drivers attempt at conversation, sitting quietly in the back until they pulled up in front of the lab. She got out and handed money over, telling him to keep the change.

The cab drove away, leaving her there with no chance for escape. She took a deep breath, looking up at the lab, biting her lip at the thought of what awaited her.

She found courage from somewhere deep inside, closing off the section of her mind which held her emotions.

She pushed the door open and stepped in. She signed in as a visitor because she was on leave, clipping the visitors badge onto her trouser pocket made her feel like an outsider.

She strode quickly through the lab, hoping that she would avoid seeing anyone, glad that the team were out in the field. She could feel the lab techs watching her as she walked towards Ecklie's office. She held her head high while inside she felt like running and hiding.

His door was open so she knocked quietly on the door frame, he gestured for her to come in.

"Take a seat. How's the arm?" He asked, holding the phone to his ear.

"Fractured in two places." She replied sitting down.

"Gil, Conrad again, erm, message number three, call me back please." He said into the phone, frustration evident in his voice. "Is it feeling better?" He asked, putting the phone down.

"Yeah." She said with a smile, enjoying his annoyance.

"So, you must know where he is."

"Actually I don't." She replied honestly.

"Really." Ecklie laughed in disbelief. "Look, I don't want to play any games here," he started uncomfortably, "this is a difficult for me as it is for you."

'Yeah right,' she thought looking down, 'you'd love any excuse to get one up on me.'

"So let's just get this over with, shall we?" He shut the door firmly and sat down. "Ok then, er, this is an administrative enquiry, you and your supervisor were in direct violation of lab policy-"

"Are."

"-Are in direct violation of lab policy which states that members of the same forensic team may not engage in a romantic relationship. So when did you and Supervisor Grissom begin your relationship?"

Sara thought for a moment and answered as honestly as she could. "We've always had a relationship."

Ecklie raised his eyebrows, trying, with difficulty, to re-word it. "I mean when did you become intimate?"

She paused again. Intimate could mean many things. She decided that he meant when was the first time they had sex. "Two years ago, I think it was a Sunday." She knew it was a Sunday.

"You," he paused again deciding how to word his next question, "entered into a romantic relationship knowing that it was against lab policy, that it could get you both fired?"

"Yes."

"Your careers have always seemed important to you, why would you take that risk?"

"We denied our feelings for years, there came a point where we couldn't do it anymore. You can't help who you fall in love with."

Ecklie sighed. "You realise that I have no choice but to move one of you to another shift now."

Sara nodded. "I'll go."

"There's an opening on Swing. We've got a trainee starting, you did a good job training up Sanders."

Sara thought about it, working on Swing would be ok, she'd be working similar hours as Grissom. "Ok, I'll go to Swing."

"I think that's about it. Just let me know when you'll be ready to come back."

"In a week."

Ecklie nodded as Sara stood up. "I am sorry all of this has happened Sara."

Sara stopped at the door. Ecklie could hear her swallow and sigh. "Not as sorry as I am." She said quietly without turning back to face him.

She knew she needed to get out of the lab quickly, couldn't be there anymore. She's known that it would probably come to one of them changing shifts but she hadn't prepared for how scared she would feel now it was becoming reality. She just wanted to go home and hide.

She couldn't stand waiting at the lab for a cab to come. Instead she decided to walk to the diner and get them to call a cab for her. Not having a cell phone was becoming a nuisance.

"Sara?" A voice called.

For a second she considered carrying on walking, hoping that she could get away with them thinking she hadn't heard.

"Sara?" He called again. It was Nicks voice. She couldn't avoid him forever.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as he came up behind her.

"Hi." She said quietly, turning to face his charming smile.

"How you doin?" He asked.

She opened her mouth to bluff him with the usual 'fine' but knew it wouldn't quite cut it with him. He knew her too well. "I'm getting there Nick."

"That's good to hear. For a while I was starting to think that you were avoiding us."

"Er, yeah," Sara began slightly awkwardly, "I'm sorry Nicky. I, I've not been able to see anyone. I just couldn't."

"You don't have to explain to me Sara. I understand. After I was kidnapped, I just wanted to hide from everyone. I couldn't face the reality of what had happened." Nick said quietly.

Sara smiled with relief that it wasn't a completely bizarre reaction.

"Grissom has been looking after you well then?"

Sara smiled. "Yeah, he has."

"That was quite a shock. When were you going to tell us about it?" He asked with a grin.

"I suppose you want all the details?"

"I thought you'd never ask." He laughed.

"Honestly Nick you're worse than Catherine!"

Nick shrugged. "You got time for a coffee?"

---

It was almost midday by the time Nick drove Sara home. The phone was ringing when she unlocked the door.

"Hello."

"_Hi, sweetheart."_

"Hi." She relaxed hearing his voice.

"_How did it go with Ecklie?"_

"Ok. Have you spoken to him yet?"

"_I'm just about to now. After I'm done with Ecklie I'll be home."_

"Ok, I'll see you soon. I love you."

"_I love you too."_

She was glad when she heard him open the door an hour later. He hugged her tightly, he'd worried about her all day, regretting that he'd had to leave her alone for so long.

"I hear you and Nick have caught up."

"Yeah, I saw him as I was leaving the lab, we went for coffee." She said smiling.

"The team are all going go-karting, I know your still uncomfortable seeing people at the moment but I thought that now you've seen Nick and been into the lab that maybe you might want to go..." He didn't want to push her, he knew that pushing her too much would cause her to push back against him but he was terrified that the longer she hid away the harder it would get.

"Ok." She said.

Gil was surprised that she had agreed without a fight. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Let's go."

"Did Ecklie give you a hard time?" Grissom asked as they drove.

"Not really, to be honest, I expected him to be worse."

"He said to me 'don't most women like the world to know that they're dating someone'."

Sara smile. "What did you say to that?"

"I asked where he got his information about women from." He said as he parked the car.

Sara laughed, imaging Ecklie's face when Gil said that.

"When did you tell Ecklie we got involved?"

"Two years ago." She replied looking slightly confused. "Why, what did you tell him?"

"Nine years ago."

Sara laughed. "The Forensic Academy Conference." The first time they had met.

"Yeah." Gil said thinking back to the day. "You, er, had to many questions of anthropology for some reason."

"Well, I was stalling. I was trying to get you the nerve to ask you to dinner."

"You had a pony tail." Allowing the memories of that day to wash over him.

Sara looked down and then took a deep breath. "I'm gonna move to swing."

"We talk about this."

"I know you said you would do it but I don't want to do that to the team. "Besides," she took a deep breath, "I am sure that I could use more daylight in my life."

They paused why they both digested Sara's decision. "We should go." Sara said.

"Yeah."

They got out of the car and walked to the track, Grissom's hand was resting gently on Sara's back. Out of habit, they separated slightly as they approached the team.

They stood and watched the team racing around the track. Catherine waved as she passed them. Nick stopped beside them with a squeal. "Want a ride?" He asked.

"Wish I could." Sara replied.

"How about you, Ricky Bobby?" Nick said to Grissom.

"No thanks." He replied, raising his hands. "I like to watch."

"Ok." Nick said, speeding off.

"You should go." Sara said with a grin, turning to face him.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you should go."

He smile back at her. "Ok." He jumped into a go-kart as Sara watched him.

She couldn't keep the smile on her face as she watched the team race together, a barrier dividing her from them. Even though she was surrounded by people, she felt lonely. This is what it would be like from now on, she supposed, them together and her watching from the side lines.

**Ok, so that turned into a bit of a marathon of a chapter, about twice as long as it normally is. But I got so far into it that I didn't want to go messing around with it. This was supposed to be more up-beat chapter but it didn't really work that way. **

"**A Friend's Love" is a companion piece for this chapter which is why there is such a strange gap in the middle but I'd already written that little one-shot.**

**Anyway, please read and review, because it makes me really happy. Any suggestions are very, very welcome. Just one more chapter left, I think...**


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